Every so often, I get an idea. A really good idea. A really good idea about something that I could sell to the general public, and make tons of cash.
Many times, like when the same joke is made by two people, it’s something that many people come up with, but it takes the person with the knowhow, the marketing, and the capital to put it into play.
I only have the idea.
My last serendipitous idea was when my friend Zonk and I were talking about the chess shot glass game (which is a brilliant idea, except that chess skills probably drops quicker than other games), and he (paraphrase) said, “Candyland would make a great drinking game, just think of the penalty for being stuck in the molasses swamp”.
My retort was that, “Actually, Chutes and Ladders would make the best drinking game. When you go up the ladder, you have to drink that many sips, and when you go down the chute, you can give those sips to another player.” We both agreed that this was a great idea.
Later that year, I saw the following item, and cursed myself for not getting the product to market quicker.
This is one of those ideas. I’m sure that someone else has thought of this. But as this is a blog of my assorted thoughts. And without googling a single word of my idea, I am presenting it.
With the advent of Dance Dance Revolution, Guitar Hero, and Rockband as devices that bring together childhood fantasies, video games, and physical activity, I bring to you…
Two hand sensors, one on the male joystick, and one in the mouth. You go up against the biggest pricks in the porn industry (like you go against Aerosmith in the latest Guitar Hero), enhancing your technique til you are the Dirk Diggler of the new millenium.
Or, if you want to embrace the idea of videogames enhancing ones actual life and bettering one’s self like Wii Fitness.
See, Wii Fitness is all about getting kids off the couch and allowing to better themselves through physical activity. And even corrects their technique and posture. Wii sex would teach these horny teenagers the proper techniques, movements, and speed of having sex.
I mean this is nobel peace prize winning stuff here. No longer would guys not know how to satisfy a girl. Girls would be able to increase their oral sex skills all under the loving and protecting eyes of Nintendo, the name people trust with their kids entertainment.
This could even reduce the levels of sexual assault, especially if you put negative sensors in the proper location. No means no indeed!
Now, some ideas die on the vine due to lack of funding, lack of vision, the sheer imposibility of it all. And yes, being able to cross-market these products with Nintendo, Microsoft, or even Sony, is next to impossible. But we could get womens groups to embrace a product that enables guys to learn about foreplay, g-spot locator, and that, like playing Misirlou on Guitar Hero, anal sex is best left to those who know what they are doing.
But this will never happen… Cause there’s just no way that my wife will allow me to participate in the research and development of this product.
Now, go google Wii Sex and tell me who has patented it already.