The Return of ECW

April 27, 2006

Okay, let’s look at this thing rationally.

This past week, World Wrestling Entertainment announced that they would be bringing back Extreme Championship Wrestling (ECW). It will supposedly be run by Tommy Dreamer and Paul Heyman, with a roster of existing ECW stars and existing OVW (and I’m guessing WWE stars who aren’t doing well on RAW or Smackdown!) wrestlers.

Okay, there’s the bad in this situation. First off, ECW was the rebel promotion. How can they be rebellious, and run by the establishment they were rebelling against? Second, it’s hard to believe that the McMahons are willing to let Paul Heyman or Tommy Dreamer run ECW without putting their stamp on things. Third, ECW was about letting wrestlers do what they want to do in the ring, I don’t see that happening with anything run by the WWE. Finally, the professional wrestling world is saturated with promotions where the wrestlers aren’t quite at major league levels, and WWE is just adding one more group to the list.

Fair nuff.

But… Keep this in mind:

The WWE needs a true minor-league promotion in which to teach their wrestlers how to create feuds, characters, and develop angles. ECW was the place for that. Paul created dozens of memorable characters, and chances are he can still do it. We see talented guys come into the WWE all the time, who just aren’t ready for this level, but there isn’t anywhere for the WWE to send them. A true minor league system is exactly what the WWE needs.

A Paul Heyman driven promotion has always been exciting for wrestling fans. Look at ECW throughout its history. Look at Smackdown when Heyman ran it. And from all reports, look at OVW under his tenure. Paul Heyman can provide exciting ECW television.

There are dozens of ECW alumni who really could benefit from one more run. They are too old for the indy scene, but not talented enough to be on the WWE roster: Axl Rotten, Danny Doring, Roadkill, Steve Corino, The Sandman, Kid Kash, Scorpio, Justin Credible, Johnny Swinger, Simon Diamond, CW Anderson, Perry Saturn, and dozens of others. I’d enjoy seeing them getting one more paycheck in their careers.

And finally, to be able to go to an arena, and have a moment of ECW nostalgia, to see decent wrestling, to see the ECW faithful again, would be enjoyable. Especially if the price was fair.

ECW has done more than any other indy promotion, it has survived. If only in the memories and hushed whispers of its fans. The WWE and the McMahons respects ECW and respects the power of ECW. Maybe it realizes it’s a viable entity. Or thinks its edgy enough to fit in the arsenal of WWE programming.

But this won’t be ECW as we remember it. No question about it. Anyone who goes to One Night Stand, or is excited about ECW coming back, under WWE guidance should realize this. The federation known as Extreme Championship Wrestling is dead.

However, that doesn’t mean that the wrestling ‘brand’ known as ECW couldn’t be a little bit fun.




Have it (y)Our Way

April 25, 2006

Have it (y)Our Way….

Okay, that’s it…. I’ve had it… I’ve had it with these chain restaurants who don’t understand that you are supposed to be finished with the appetizer before the main course is brought out. I shouldn’t have my second mozzarella stick hanging out of my mouth when my food arrives.

I’m totally fucking sick of menus that says, “meat cooked to order”, and then when I sayt I want it Medium Rare (after they’ve fucking asked me how I want it cooked), I get the response of “Sorry, we can only cook it Medium Well or Well”. Medium Well versus Well Done isn’t a choice, you fuckheads, just like do you want to be fucked up the ass by three guys or four isn’t a choice.

Burgers on these menus should just say, “We’ve loaded the burger up with cheese and toppings to make up for the fact that it’s dry and tasteless, especially after we’ve cooked the shit out of it”

I’m sick of mozzarella sticks that come with one unmelted solid block of cheese in the middle of it. Hello? You’re a goddamn restaurant. You have fryolators. Fried food doesn’t get tepid that quickly.

I’m sick of side dishes (beans and rice or French fries) that are hot while my entrée is luke warm. Not that I want cold fries, but if my sandwich is getting cold while waiting for my fries, bring the fucking fries out later.

I’m sick of waiters who have no idea when the food is coming out. I had one the other night, who was totally shocked that the appetizers came out. “Wow, you got the food already?” Then, to no one’s shock, the sandwiches came out a minute later.

Another time, we watched a server carry our food around the restaurant twice, looking for our table. The clueless waitress finally brought our cold food to the table, without an apology. Then again she was a true fucktard, who actually handed my wife a check for the meal, while I had a rib handing out of my mouth.

I’m sick of waiters who hurry me through my meal when it’s 9:00 on a Wednesday night, and we’re surrounded by empty tables. If there’s not a line to come into the restaurant, then leave me the fuck alone. If my fork is in my mouth, don’t ask if I’m done with my meal.


Now, this has been building for months. The quality of service at these chain restaurants is getting worse and worse. The food is getting more average. And I kick myself for going to these places for average food.

Suze and I went to 99 last Friday, and the food was just plain average. We went just to try it out, and the menu made everything sound good, but in the end it was average.

So, my pact is to stop going to them. Or at least stop initiating our going to them. I still like Macaroni Grille and Cheeseburger in Paradise, and love them. But all of the others, I’m just done with them. I’d rather go get a cheap good meal at Michael Tavern, Rossi’s Grille, or some other local hole in the wall. At least it’s local and going to local establishments, ya know.

Okay, I might go to Friendly’s for sandwiches and ice cream, but that’s completely different thing. Plus, you know, ya can’t beat the Reese’s Pieces Sundae!

Anyway, just my ranting at the world

A multitude of miscellaneous machinations

April 14, 2006

Fun with alliteration, come on, everybody dance now…

So, where are we…

Totally Saturated

More fun with words… Apparently, there’s a decent chance that Michael and I are going to see Joe Satriani at the Starlight Ballroom next week.

Joe F’N Satch!

I don’t know whether to be more impressed that Michael is interested in seeing Satch. Or that Michael is organizing something. It’s mostly cause he wanted to see the Funkmaster, George Clinton, a few weeks ago, but called me up on the day of the concert, asking me if I wanted to go. Since being married, my spontaneity show’s itself in different ways that just hopping on board and going to a concert. But, more importantly, Mom was up to go to The Chieftans concert. So if I wanted to see George Clinton, I either had to ditch my mom or invite her. And that’s just too scary of a proposition to contemplate. Taking Mom to Bruce Springsteen was bad enough.


Okay, I hate doing my taxes. I just fucking hate doing my taxes. Now, last year Suze and I paid an obscene (in my estimation) amount to have Jim do our taxes. Like close to $200.00. I’m decent enough at math, and can read forms, so there’s no need to have anyone else do our taxes.

And it’s not even that we’re losing money. We’re getting money back for Christ’s sake. I mean a good amount of money back. But I still hate doing the god damn paperwork. I mean, the IRS people who have to look over these things, just must be soulless. I don’t mean that they’re evil. Just you would have to be soulless to just do the work. I mean toll both collectors would have more of a soul than IRS reviewers. At least the auditors get to kick some ass. And whenever someone messes with them, or threatens them, they can just say, “One more false move, I’ll have you audited from this year all the way back til you babysat your cousins for three bucks an hour and a free pizza. But just the day-to-day, boring, in office IRS workers. Just dead people.

In Morrisville?

Next piece of news…. I was going through pollstar to see what concerts are coming to the area… And here was the line that threw me :

Sat 05/20/06   Blues Traveler   Snipes Farm

Okay, I live in Morrisville, Pennsylvania. So Blues Traveler coming to Morrisville as part of the Wu Li Festival is news enough. That’s the biggest act to hit town, since M Night Shyamalan filmed a scene from Signs at Burns Pharmacy. That would be news enough. But my house backs up to Snipes Farm. Part of my backyard is actually owned by Snipes Farm. I mean, I could literally listen to the concert from my backyard.(Okay I was around last year for this music festival, and all you could hear was a murmur of music. So, it’s not like the stage is near my house. Snipes Farm has to be like 150 acres or something. But still.)

My brain cannot handle this shit anymore.

Easter Parade

So after all of the hooplah, and all of the excitement, and all of the planning, Easter is finally here. We’re having the family over for dinner. Part of the meal includes a recipe for ham that is covered in brown mustard, brown sugar, spiced wafers, and bourbon. And if you think that I derive any pleasure from serving it to my inlaws, who do not consume alcohol, well you either know me too well or don’t know me at all.

All kidding aside, Suzanne gave me the green light for this recipe last year. And we all (her parents included) just loved it. The flavor was amazing. And I even liked it, despite not liking brown mustard that much. Just tremendous stuff.

On top of that we’re serving apple & sausage stuffin muffins (made this last Christmas with a recipe from Rachael Ray, and decided to kick it up a notch by adding sausage), sweet potato casserole, cole slaw, lyonaise carrots & zucchini, pineapple stuffing (from Suze’s mom), Busy-Day Salad, rolls and dessert.

Baby News

Really, not that much news. Just that Suzanne decided this week to tell her brother and sister. She just went to have lunch with her Mom and Sara, so she could tell Sara specially that she’s pregnant. Sara was really cute and just laughed the entire time. Supposedly, she thinks that this will give her a playmate. I think she’s in for a rude awakening on many fronts.

My mother is going nucking futs over this. I told her two weeks ago that she shouldn’t get anything for Suzanne because she’s not a mother yet, and you never know what might happen with miscarriages or problems or whatever. I probably said, “I mean Suze hasn’t really had a complete checkup for this yet, so I mean we don’t want to do anything until her next appointment.”

So, of course in the latest email from my mother, I get the following statement:

Are you still not accepting gifts from anyone, until the end of May?

Ummmmm…. I never said we were excepting gifts at the end of May… Give it some fucking time, why don’t you. Sheesh. I mean, it’s not like the wedding where you set a date and all systems are go, unless you hear otherwise. Suzanne is 35 years old, which is considered these days as a risky pregnancy. Her mother had a history of miscarriages. And in fact, Suzanne was a twin, and the other twin didn’t make it. It is waaaaaaaay early to get anything.



I think there was something else I wanted to talk about in this blog, but I forget. I’ll tag it later if needed.

Peace and Axl Grease



Berries and Cream Dr Pepper

April 13, 2006

Berries and Cream Dr. Pepper explodes…

I am a slave to marketing. All you need to do is to create a new product that I would be interested in, and I am making a purchase. If you developed a Hershey Broccoli and Peanut Butter Bar, I would probably purchase it just to see how awful it is. It’s just me.

This morning, I go to 7-11 and I discover, Berries & Cream Dr. Pepper. Doesn’t really sound like a great idea to me, but I get it anyway, along with a Coke. I come into the office, announce to the group at large of this monumental, but potentially disgusting purchase.

An hour passes, because I don’t need a soda as the caffeine and other assorted chemicals that the Coca Cola company. And I go to open the soda, and it explodes all over my cubicle. One hour after the bottle had been moved.

I’d blame my coworkers, but the only one who had opportunity to do it, is Tim. And Tim isn’t really that kindof guy. His reaction was not that of someone who just ‘got me.’ And, he’s in IT, so he’d have to help me with any damaged equipment.

Makes no sense. It was at least 60 minutes after the last time the bottle was moved, and then we have exploding cherry carbonated beverage spray all over my cubicle. Luckily it all missed my laptop. As that would have sucked.




On the Precipice Looking Inward

April 10, 2006

On the Precipice Looking Down

Okay, now why would a supposedly rational human being… (There’s that “rational” word again… Flashing back to a night riding the UDel drunk bus, and trying to convince myself that I’m “rational.” Unfortunately, I was talking out loud at the time.). Why would a rational human being be scared about bringing a youngun into the world. Why would the thought of being a father make me so worried, or thinking that my world, as I know it, is about to change for the worse.

The reality is that I like kids. I’m not sure that I like infants, but I definitely like kids. I love having Sara over the house. I enjoy playing with Ben. I even have fun when Katie is around. And there is that sense that I am temporary in their lives. That in the grand scheme of things, I am merely a presence.

Thinking back to my younger years. I had people who were very important in my life, who weren’t even members of my family. However, I’d say that most of them were “always” in my life. They were people who knew me, before I learned to walk and talk. Yes, there were people who took an interest in me, and such. But there wasn’t really anyone who I met when I was 7 or 10 or whatever, or anyone who I saw twice a year who I felt a strong bond with.

So, I certainly don’t blame them. I’d like to be closer to Sara than I am, but that may just simply be a guy/girl thing. Not having any sisters or even close cousins, I can’t really say how they regarded their uncles. And I’m not a typical uncle in any way, shape or form.

Let’s move on people.

So, I want that closer bond with a child. I want to teach. I want to read them stories. I want to watch them grow. I want to shape their lives.

And, the timing is right.

Let’s face it, I am being forcibly forced out of the “Hey, do you want to just hang out this weekend” lifestyle. In fact, I probably have been out of that lifestyle for quite some time. With purchasing a house, getting married, and having a steady job with an hour commute, playing things off the cuff and on the fly is rather difficult. Even the spontaneous, “fuck it, we’ll do it tomorrow” attitude that Suzanne and I seem to enjoy, really comes back and bites us in the ass fairly often. It leads to piles of clothes on the floor, dust all over the house, and eating out when we don’t need to spend the money or the calories on substandard food and service.

So, a major overhaul is probably needed and desired. It’s the adult response. It’s the mature response. For God’s sake, I’m 35 years old. I shouldn’t have piles of dirty clothes on the floor. There shouldn’t be dirty dishes in the sink. I shouldn’t procrastinate about my bills. I should be responsible. And in fact, I can’t even say that I don’t want to be responsible. I like a clean house. I like when the bills are paid. I enjoy eating healthy.

And yet….

And it the ‘and yet’ that gets me every time.

And yet, it’s very trapping.

You feel like you’re giving up the life that you’ve known for so long. Being completely responsible for another person’s well being is completely different than anything else. It’s different than owning a dog, taking care of a house, or even becoming partners with another human being.

First off, it’s permanent. Unless, the baby arrives and Suzanne and I immediately decide to put the baby up for adoption, Suzanne and I will be parents. A pet will pass away, or you can give them away to people. You can sell a house. You can separate or divorce your partner. But no matter what, come late November, I will be a Father. And I will be a Father for the rest of my life.

I mean, I’ve never gotten a tattoo, because there’s nothing that I was sure I wanted for the rest of my life. And now, we’ve got a baby on the way.

Maybe I should go get a tattoo.

And then there’s the aspect of the life between Suzanne and I changing. Our relationship changing. I mean even right now things have changed between us. Whereas before, she hated being the little woman, the one to be pampered, now she’s needing this sort of attention. She is so tired and feels so uncomfortable at times.

And then we move onto responsibilities.That is the overwhelming part of the equation. Forgetting for a moment, the increased financial burden that a child places on your life. Let’s ignore that for just one moment. Let’s forget the food, clothes, toys, and medicine that needs to be purchased.

Let’s just talk about daycare, college, and marriage (if it’s a girl). Those are the three that scare the living piss out of me. How can one afford this? It’s unbelievable.

I am happy about it.

I am one to rant. I will rant for hours about the problems of a movie that I loved. That’s just me. That’s just how I am.

But, is scary times in the Schwabe household. I need to play Powerball more often. Or become a championship Craps player.

Anyway, I’ll try to be more concise, precise, and advice next time.